Whae'd be a Piper
Noo, whae wad be a piper loon,
In hoose gaun mairchin' up an' doon.
Mak' noise tae frichten ony bairn,
wi' bag o' wind ablow yer airm?
Nae fears.
Whae'd practice chaunter; never tire.
Invitin' wrathful neebour's ire.
Tune drone an' reed and sherpen same,
whiles wishin' ye'd M'Crimmon's name?
Ach no.
Wad you be yin: don spats an' kilt,
An' skirl some heilan' laddie lilt?
Swing by in step 'lang Princes Street,
heid kettle drummer gi'ein' beat?
Weel, mebbie.
Wha'd blaw an' squeeze, an' mairch, an' play,
aye keepin' richtful' dressin' tae?
Yer tartan streamers wavin' rare,
as you (an' band) gie pipin' air?
Whae widnae?